cream cheese | Kiwi + Peach

We have found that, as a general rule, Germans are not huge fans of the spicy stuff. German extra hot salsa is what we in the States would call mild. At our favorite Mexican take away, Condesa, which recently closed {sob}, they always asked what level of spicy sauce we want: 1 {German spicy, no not spicy at all}, 2 {American spicy}, 3 {Mexican spicy}, or a 4 which had the chilies spilling out the top of the bottle {I’m going to go ahead and assume that was English spicy}. That is why I laughed out loud at the shop the other day when I saw some habaneros. It took me a year and a half to find a jalapeño in this city, but they have habaneros, something that even I am not going to touch. Go figure.

Anyway.

I’ve been craving jalapeño poppers ever since we got back from our trip to the States last summer. There is just something about a crispy, spicy pepper filled with cheese that does me in. But, as previously stated, I couldn’t find a jalapeño in this whole city. I checked farmer’s markets, the special grocery stores that are in basements of department stores, and lots of Bio {organic} grocery stores other than my local. Nothing. Until last week, that is. I walk in the store and there, looking me square in the face is a huge basket of lovely, green jalapeños. And I only got a few dirty looks from other shoppers as I shoved handfuls of peppers into my shopping bag.

Naturally, the first thing I did when I got home was to whip up some jalapeño poppers. Just a warning, these are not for the faint of heart. They are incredibly flavorful, but also really spicy. I’d say they’re a Mexican spicy on the Condesa scale. Unless of course, you miss a few seeds. Then it’s definitely a 4.

Baked Jalapeño Poppers

{inspired by In Fine Balance}

The Stuffing
1/3 cup cream cheese
1 tsp sugar
1/2 tsp paprika
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper

The Breading
whole wheat bread crumbs
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp dried oregano

The Wichtige Sachen
6 jalapeños
1 Tbsp olive oil

Preheat your oven on high broil. {Grill for all y’all Kiwis.}

Slice your jalapeños down the middle. Remove the seeds and membranes, but leave the stem. It’s a great handle! As always when dealing with spicy peppers, be sure not to touch your eyes, nose, mouth, face, etc. until you’ve washed your hands really well. It makes for an unpleasant experience.

In a bowl, combine your cream cheese with all of the spices and mix well. Spoon a dollop into each pepper. Using the back of the spoon make sure the whole pepper is full of cheese.

On a small plate, mix the breading ingredients. Press each pepper, cheese side down, into the breading and then place on a grill rack. Drizzle a bit of olive oil over the tops of the peppers and pop them in the oven towards the top.

Bake for about 10-12 minutes or until the breading has browned a bit and it’s appropriately crispy.

Serve with some salsa and sour cream. Lots of sour cream.

Dig in! I may or may not have eaten an entire batch for lunch yesterday. True story.

I acknowledge that is an incredibly sacrilegious title. Please don’t break out the pitchforks or stones just yet. Wait until I’ve shared the recipe.

Once upon a time, my college roommate told me about this episode of Paula Deen where she cooked for Jimmy Carter. {This is all pre-scandal, mind.} One of the things she made was Gorilla Bread. So going based on my roommate’s memory of what was in it, I whipped up this magical concoction that we henceforth called Jesus because it makes you say “Jesus Christ! That’s the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth!”

{commence stone throwing}

Despite it’s slightly sacrilegious name, it really is the best. thing. ever. Definitely not healthy, but that’s why you had the fried egg and tomatoes last night right? This is really a great something something to whip up if you have house guests and want to impress them with a great breakfast! So let’s get to it shall we?

Gorilla Pull Apart Bread {aka Jesus}

The Caramel
1/4 cup cream {or soy cream}
2 Tbsp butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup pecans, slightly chopped

The Bread
1 Tbsp cinnamon
2 Tbsp sugar
biscuit dough {or a can of the pre-made stuff}
8 ounces of cream cheese

This recipe can be as simple or as labor intensive as you want it to be. If you’re looking for a super quick and impressive breakfast then by all means, use the canned biscuits; use pre-made caramel. Really. It will still be delicious. However, since the Kiwi and I are trying to eliminate highly processed connivence foods {like canned biscuits} from our diet, I decided to ~~be a glutton for punishment~~ do it the slightly harder way.

If you’re making your own caramel, heat all of the ingredients in a pot on medium low heat. Whisk gently for about 8 minutes and then transfer to a bowl. Mix in the pecans and pop it in the fridge to thicken up while you’re getting the rest done.

If you’re making your own biscuit dough, I highly recommend using the Kiwi’s recipe. I whipped up the biscuit dough according to his fabulous instructions {substituting 1/2 the flour for whole wheat}, but stopped following his instructions after I got the dough made. Then I rolled it out and used the 3 in biscuit cutter to cut out my biscuits.

At this point, the rest of it is the same whether you’re using pre-made or you’ve just made it from scratch.

Preheat the oven according to your biscuit instructions. {450°F/225°C if you’re using the Kiwi’s recipe.}

Go ahead and grease your baking dish. I used a 6 inch pie dish this time, but I’ve had success with loaf pans and with bundt pans too. Use what you got.

In a small bowl, combine the cinnamon and sugar and mix well.

Spoon a good sized dollop of cream cheese in the middle of a biscuit and fold the biscuit around the cream cheese. Roll it into a smooth ball. Roll it around in the cinnamon sugar until it’s completely coated and then transfer to the baking dish.

Repeat for the rest of the biscuits.

Once they’re all in the pan, pour the caramel over the top. Really cover it. Then pop it in the oven to bake according to your biscuit instructions. {20 minutes for the Kiwi’s recipe.} Be sure to put a cookie sheet or something to catch drips underneath just incase the caramel decides to get unruly. Check it occasionally as well. If it starts smelling like burning sugar, take it out. Nothing worse than burnt caramel. That wouldn’t be a good way to start your day!

When it’s finished, let it cool for about 5 minutes and then plate up and enjoy!