I acknowledge that is an incredibly sacrilegious title. Please don’t break out the pitchforks or stones just yet. Wait until I’ve shared the recipe.

Once upon a time, my college roommate told me about this episode of Paula Deen where she cooked for Jimmy Carter. {This is all pre-scandal, mind.} One of the things she made was Gorilla Bread. So going based on my roommate’s memory of what was in it, I whipped up this magical concoction that we henceforth called Jesus because it makes you say “Jesus Christ! That’s the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth!”

{commence stone throwing}

Despite it’s slightly sacrilegious name, it really is the best. thing. ever. Definitely not healthy, but that’s why you had the fried egg and tomatoes last night right? This is really a great something something to whip up if you have house guests and want to impress them with a great breakfast! So let’s get to it shall we?

Gorilla Pull Apart Bread {aka Jesus}

The Caramel
1/4 cup cream {or soy cream}
2 Tbsp butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup pecans, slightly chopped

The Bread
1 Tbsp cinnamon
2 Tbsp sugar
biscuit dough {or a can of the pre-made stuff}
8 ounces of cream cheese

This recipe can be as simple or as labor intensive as you want it to be. If you’re looking for a super quick and impressive breakfast then by all means, use the canned biscuits; use pre-made caramel. Really. It will still be delicious. However, since the Kiwi and I are trying to eliminate highly processed connivence foods {like canned biscuits} from our diet, I decided to be a glutton for punishment do it the slightly harder way.

If you’re making your own caramel, heat all of the ingredients in a pot on medium low heat. Whisk gently for about 8 minutes and then transfer to a bowl. Mix in the pecans and pop it in the fridge to thicken up while you’re getting the rest done.

If you’re making your own biscuit dough, I highly recommend using the Kiwi’s recipe. I whipped up the biscuit dough according to  his fabulous instructions {substituting 1/2 the flour for whole wheat}, but stopped following his instructions after I got the dough made. Then I rolled it out and used the 3 in biscuit cutter to cut out my biscuits.

At this point, the rest of it is the same whether you’re using pre-made or you’ve just made it from scratch.

Preheat the oven according to your biscuit instructions. {450°F/225°C if you’re using the Kiwi’s recipe.}

Go ahead and grease your baking dish. I used a 6 inch pie dish this time, but I’ve had success with loaf pans and with bundt pans too. Use what you got.

In a small bowl, combine the cinnamon and sugar and mix well.

Spoon a good sized dollop of cream cheese in the middle of a biscuit and fold the biscuit around the cream cheese. Roll it into a smooth ball. Roll it around in the cinnamon sugar until it’s completely coated and then transfer to the baking dish.

Repeat for the rest of the biscuits.

Once they’re all in the pan, pour the caramel over the top. Really cover it. Then pop it in the oven to bake according to your biscuit instructions. {20 minutes for the Kiwi’s recipe.} Be sure to put a cookie sheet or something to catch drips underneath just incase the caramel decides to get unruly. Check it occasionally as well. If it starts smelling like burning sugar, take it out. Nothing worse than burnt caramel. That wouldn’t be a good way to start your day!

When it’s finished, let it cool for about 5 minutes and then plate up and enjoy!

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